HumanRemodeling

The future - is engineered?

noreply@blogger.com (HumanRemodeling) — Fri, 25 Jun 2010 08:32:00 +0000

Consider the strange possibility that we have been deliberately taught to be irresponsible and to dislike each other for some good purpose.

http://4brevard.com/choice/Public_Education.htm
the industrial titans of the 1890's began to think that not only could the production line be engineered, but people's lives could be engineered as well, in order to work like homogeneous robots with the machines. Rockefeller and Carnegie gave huge sums to prominent academics to see if this could be realized through the educational system. They found that to a considerable extent it could, and it is still being done today as evidenced in the Congressional Record during the Clinton administration.

http://www.eagleforum.org/educate/marc_tucker/marc_tucker_letter.html
On Sept. 25, 1998, Rep. Bob Schaffer placed in the Congressional Record an 18-page letter that has become famous as Marc Tucker's "Dear Hillary" letter. It lays out the master plan of the Clinton Administration to take over the entire U.S. educational system so that it can serve national economic planning of the workforce.

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I found this out while researching this:
Versions of “Did You Know?” (4.0) video produced for the Economist’s Third Annual Media Convergence Forum in New York City on October 20–21, 2009.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gqw-n0uAOpA The world is changing fast: UK perspective
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lUMf7FWGdCw&NR=1 Exponential growth
The Economist video makes it look as if we can blame bad US economy on the population numbers. Unfortunately, it’s about quality too.
THE US AS THE CONSUMER SOCIETY: KIDS NOT USED TO STUDYING http://4brevard.com/choice/international-test-scores.htm
Results By grade 4, American students only score in the middle of 26 countries reported. By grade 8 they are in the bottom third, and at the finish line, where it really counts, we're near dead last. Its even worse when you notice that some of the superior countries in grade 8 (especially the Asians) were not included in published 12th grade results. They do not need 12 grades. People have a tendency to think this picture is bleak but it doesn't apply to their own school. Chances are, even if your school compares well in SAT scores, it will still be a lightweight on an international scale.
1. By the time our students are ready to leave high school - ready to enter higher education and the labor force - they are doing so badly with science they are significantly weaker than their peers in other countries.
2. Our idea of "advanced" is clearly below international standards.
3. There appears to be a consistent weakness in our teaching performance in physical sciences that becomes magnified over the years.
excerpted from a speech by Pascal D. Forgione, Jr., Ph.D. U.S. Commissioner of Education Statistics.

In sync with a'ina

noreply@blogger.com (HumanRemodeling) — Fri, 25 Jun 2010 08:30:00 +0000

Our building asked us to install some big wooden doors that look "pretty" because they have glass.

those doors are SO TOTALLY OUT OF SYNC WITH HAWAII CLIMATE AND HAWAII NATURE

The building with those doors really looks like a bunch of red necks from the mainland, trying to make HI look like some village in Ohio or something. It's ugly. It shows total disconnect from the land

In Hawaii, we need screen doors, ventilation and fresh air. We are 100ft from the ocean, with breeze from the mountains and ocean.Hello! Duh! Why do we live here - to make it look like we live in Michigan???

That's what red necks do - come to Hawaii because they love it that it is Hawaii and not Michigan or California or..., and THEN they start making it exactly like Michigan or California or wherever else they came from, because they are so used to it. That's called cancerous behavior - killing the host that feeds you.

what it means to be a woman in today's society

noreply@blogger.com (HumanRemodeling) — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 21:25:00 +0000

A: I agree with you about the feminine. I think it "gets me" and I have to figure it out. I think that I find myself playing too much the role of power but always at the expense of the feminine and I do not like it.
I am hearing you also about your having to wear "neutral" clothes. For me, I find myself always trying to figure out the system in such a way that my family is ok and I am ok.
Then, the question is: why are we doing all these things? what are we looking for in giving and giving to people in particular ways?

Milica:
I do african dance. I go to class after teaching a computer class. One day I had my work pants still on. IT WAS AS IF I HAD SOME LOCK ON. I could not dance, I could not move my pelvis. My pelvis was locked. In order to survive in men's world, I totally turn off my feminine side at work, all sexuality, all and any feelings, and esp any awareness below my chest. I think it also has to do with where I am from, where "females are nothing"

For you, seems like you got SOME nourishment since you were able to get married and have children. In my case, damage seems to be a lot more severe because of no family of my own.

For any abdominal and other issues

noreply@blogger.com (HumanRemodeling) — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 20:07:00 +0000

works well: book "Luna Yoga" by Ohlig - yoga etc for all reproductive issues, for men and women
heals cysts, tumors, cancer, infertility, lack of libido, low sperm count, etc.
yoga postures but with emphasis on reproductive and pelvic region
====================================
Also, Aviva Steiner work on excercises to control fertility - you can be fertile or not, depending on how you move
=====================================
For non-cancerous growths: castor oil pack, from Edgar Cayce
====================================
For any issues with acidity (i.e. any illness): drink apple cider vineger (has to be good quality - raw, organic, etc , e.g. by Braggs), 5 days, 2-3 times per day, 1 tsp in a cup of water, then rest 2 days, keep on going
Put apple cider vinegar (pick a good quality, e.g. by Braggs) compress with hot water bottle on top, to dissolve anything hard
=====================================
For any growths and issues: drink Hawaiian noni juice - it has enzymes and regulates digestion and elimination and dissolves growths
You can also put noni compress. The best is just putting on a fresh prepared noni leaf, but that grows only in tropics. Noni leaf can pull out cancer. There must be similar plants in moderate climates.
I am going to be putting this on my blog, http://HumanRemodeling.com

?

noreply@blogger.com (HumanRemodeling) — Mon, 22 Mar 2010 06:10:00 +0000

Haven't written in a while. There have been so many things going on.

Deepening the knowledge on psoas. It is a very interesting and amazing muscle. What is quite fascinating is how it relates to the abdominal and lower back muscles, and also the internal abdominal organs, for example the iliosecal valve.

Another thing that is fascinating is the relationship of the various parts of the body and how a tight spot in one place propagates to other, seemingly unrelated, areas. Amazing.

mickey mouse business

noreply@blogger.com (HumanRemodeling) — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 07:41:00 +0000

A young French lady and me discussed our situation here in the USA, and how lonely and awful it is and how much we miss our families and way of life back home, where you are always surrounded by your community. She said it is just terrible to eat meals alone. Back home you always eat with your family.

We discussed families in the USA vs back home, and concluded that American way of life - where each Mickey and Minney Mouse have their own house and live alone and just "date" - was totally mickey mouse business, and completely abnormal. Who the heck decided to be all lone wolves like that. Maybe Americans can do it, but we cannot. Coming from family oriented background, this American way of life is STRANGE and quite bad, honestly. We miss our families and more community style of living.

==================

So, that got me thinking - what am I doing in the USA? After 24 years, what have I made here? I came for a better life and yes, in some ways accomplished it.

On the other hand, all things that were STRANGE in the usa, for example awfully tasting plastic food, apples and other fruits and veggies that look pretty but have no taste whatsoever, big junky Wallmarts and buying "per pound", living alone, etc. all those strange things that were supposed to be "just temporary" while you get settled as an immigrant - well, they are not really temporary anymore, it has gone on for way too long!

And my response is: I want to eat REAL food, I want to live in a family, community style, I want to live in a house and have a garden and grow fruit trees and veggies and flowers.

everything is connected

noreply@blogger.com (HumanRemodeling) — Sat, 27 Feb 2010 10:02:00 +0000

I was feeling very sore and tired. Very. After dancing and work and little sleep and food, I was just exausted.

So I sat at the ocean shore and massaged my legs and then neck. It was QUITE amazing. I found a sore spot in the neck and massaged it out, and voila! I was completely fresh and refreshed. My mood improved, I was feeling energized and just fine.

So many news....

noreply@blogger.com (HumanRemodeling) — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 01:42:00 +0000

What I always knew intellectually is finally sinking in:

all problems and sickness in life is when we disconnect ourselves from God.

Wanna be peaceful, healthy, and happy? Plug back into God.

As simple as that.

what's on the inside comes to the outside

noreply@blogger.com (HumanRemodeling) — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 02:26:00 +0000

It was a very growing-up, educational experience for me personally to be able to process the Born Again "christian" experience and exorcise it out of my energetic field. It was such a bad experience, very sobering insight into the dark side of human nature, and honestly, very scary and depressing view of human race. It makes you lose faith in humanity. How can a human being possibly believe that some people are superior to others? I never came close to anything like that before and it was simply shocking and terrifying. Contact with that made me look at people and wonder what hideous stuff is behind the "normal citizen" facade.

In my book, a human being at least tries to uphoald some noble and true values, like "all humans are equal" etc. and of course to often fail in practice in little details of daily life. But to intentionally and willingly and convincingly believe that some are superior than others?!

No wonder that SRF nun said that any contact with something like that can only increase hurt feelings. It truly does.
The *only* thing someone like that can do is HURT OTHERS.
No wonder Earth is so messed up.... with so many people like that walking around.

This Born Again popped into my head recently. I have no idea why. It made me realize several things: he treated me just like he treated his church, like he treats everything - he TALKED about how he loved me, but he never actually acted on it;
it never oozed out of him, he never felt it nor expressed it. His idea of "love" was just like Sunday sermon - lots of words without meaning and without practical application in daily life. Empty, fake, deceiving.
As if he was a zombie - saying one thing like a parrot.
Also, he was a super version of his own father, who he said was all about talk and no action.

And he didn't understand that it wasn't only TALKING that made a difference - when I asked him to leave his church because it was the foundation stone of his inability to love and relate, he said: "Oh, I know what I need to do in order to gain you - I just need to say that I denounce the church." He never got it - it is not enough to "just say it." The only thing that counts is what you ARE INSIDE, what you believe inside, because that's how you act on the outside.

what is inside comes to the surface and that's who you are on the outside.

What we should strive for is something noble and good, like equality, like compassion, FOR ALL. All saints and sages are like that. There is one God, and that one God is in charge of us all. There are no "favorites" of God. There are no "sure tickets to heaven" if you belong to the "right club" and call yourself christian or whatever. It is a very individualized contract with God and there are no shortcuts and deals. God requires one thing, and either you got it or not: ability to truly feel, experience and act on "Love thy Neighbor as Thyself" and "love God with all Thy heart, mind and soul." God never said: "how much you talked about it", he said "how much you can do it, NOW." There are people who are more evolved, like Jesus or Buddha or Krishna. There are people who are less evolved. And everyone should be striving to evolve.

I guess that was the growing up fact for me: everyone is striving, in their own way, to the extent they are capable and willing. Some people are weak and have serious character and other flaws and they are not striving much if at all, and that's the best that they can and/or are willing to do.

Like a drunk who wants and likes to drink - what can he do? Not much. Doesn't matter how he started drinking and why - the fact is, he drinks, he likes it, and he wants to keep doing that.

That was the growing up for me: Earth consists mostly of people who are not willing to wake up. Who are scared. Who are seriously wounded. Who are following false paths.
Only a very few, who are very persistent and very very lucky, get to experience something else.

I used to believe that everyone is following something Higher, some certain higher calling from the inside, because that's the only thing that makes sense to me.
It does NOT make sense to majority of humanity.
And yet - it is a complete waste to even think about that. Yes, it is shocking, and hard to believe, and very tempting to keep on wondering how the heck can they live like that, but then they use you as a holder of their own shame and remorse. So, the best thing is to forget all about asleep people and really really focus on developing oneself.

I call that growing up :) Also, loving myself. Taking care of myself.

Because, the truth is, there are people who Remember Something and who are trying to wake up. It takes faith to keep on developing oneself in order to come in contact with Those Who are More Evolved. They are around too. Not as visible but definitely present. It is very prudent to focus on that side of the story. TO FOCUS ON POSITIVE AND HIGHER.

what am I doing at the farmer's market

noreply@blogger.com (HumanRemodeling) — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 00:29:00 +0000

Hi, X,
sorry I didn't really answer your question about what I am doing at the farmer's market :) I was still thinking of of your cat and all other cats around here with HIV. How did they get it? Take care of yourself, if I were you it would definitely be a spiritual practice to say bye to your cat. And, why do cats around here get it, and how can it be prevented and healed. A big issue to ponder :)

Anyways, what I am doing at the market is spreading my fame. I can fix someone's neck pain, etc. in 10-15-20 minutes. That's pretty awesome and very very rare, so people talk about it. So, it is important that they get to witness that at the market and see for themselves. I meet people from all over, and after I fix whatever pain they had, they voluntarily put me into travel brochures, etc., so it is really a way to world fame. :)

That's what I am doing there, for the time being. I can do it now while I don't have family obligations. It is really a little bit of a luxury because it pays little for the time invested. However, I consider it advertising expense :) Yellow pages doesn't work for what I do :)

I should have my own booth and spread my brand name. I have nothing to do with the guy who shares the booth with me, he is a roomate of the market owner and she asked me to share the booth, to save the space.

So, that's what I am doing there.

Thanks for listening:)

Yes indeed

noreply@blogger.com (HumanRemodeling) — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 07:06:00 +0000

yes indeed where is the guy? I remember clearly that I prayed to God to send me the guy who was assigned to me. The Born Again 'christian' who showed up knew that, and kept on saying that he was sure we were assigned. Heck assigned. As soon as it got rough, this "sure he was assigned" guy disappeared in a jiffy.

So I was telling God: I meant REALLY assigned, not just SAYING he was assigned.

Send me the guy who is TRULY ASSIGNED TO ME as my mate. There is one and we know there is one. Where is that one? Get him going and make him show up and take the post. I mean, life is passing by, let's get going asap. Ok God? Please step on it. Thanks.

Essay of a Tracker student: how Tracker school changed my life

noreply@blogger.com (HumanRemodeling) — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 07:05:00 +0000

Well, it did change my life, every time I went. First, I was a very "abnormal" child but I was little aware of it, I grew up next to the woods and in the woods. Then I went to college, got married to a "normal" guy and led a "normal" life - until I got very sick and spent a year in bed. And that's how I became "abnormal" again and got well.Trying to heal, I tried all kinds of strange and new things. One day I drove out with an elderly friend to hunt for crystals - something cookey that I would have never done - and he mentioned "a school where they teach you to sneak up and touch a deer," and for some reason it really stuck to me - rationally it was so corny and didn't make sense to anyone, but it got me! Soon, I was in a retreat center and as I was checking out, the mailman came - with Tracker schedule - so I took the number from the brochure. And so I went. Every class I took changed my life 180 degrees. At the standard, I was hungry and cold and then later I wasn't. I remember sitting in class and looking at the wall in front of me. There was nothing there but I stared at it. The next second, there was a very big guy standing there (Tom Brown) and I was wondering where the heck did he come from. He looked and behaved like a military drill sargent and I disliked him. FORTUNATELY I never read any of his books beforehand, because when I saw the books later, the books turned me off and the person also turned me off. I asked him in spirit why he was so rough and he answered that he had to be in order to teach, so I accepted it and kept on going to classes. Next classes were all a major transformational experience. One helped me finish my dissertation, another helped me "feel", another helped me divorce, all helped me transform.Pines feels like home. I remember when I first came - for some reason at night when everyone went to bed I was always hanging around the GF sit area that looks at the cedars but I didn't know it was there. One night I sang there and someone came out of the bush and said: didn't you know, there is a sit area here? come on in. I always go there to sit. I have it as a background on my computer. Scout class was the best. That's the first time I became alive in years. My (then) husband thought Tracker was just a fad and I will become"normal" again. Nope, it got worse. One summer I went to a Tracker class and he went somewhere else on vacation, and when we both got back, we looked at each other and there was 0 in common, and we separated and divorced. So I took even more Tracker classes and spent all my vacation there, and worked part time and lived close to the Pines in order to take more classes. I am not sure when this class was - it was the healing class or maybe animal dissection class or caretaking class?, it was spring time on the very old small farm with a house and a small hut for classes in NJ. During the healing class I know is the first time I got to talk to a plant, milk thistle told me it could refresh people. During this other class,I sat alone in the classroom and for some reason watched the big armchair in the front. I "saw" Grandfather sitting in it and he asked me if I would accept him as my grandfather, and I said yes. That was really sweet. I talk to Grandfather regularly and consider him a great friend. Even when he tests me and tortures me, like when he put me next to the nicest guy at the time I didn't talk to guys, he is still very gentle and always means me well. I always visit with GF. Many years later, Tom Brown said to us that this was GF's favorite chair and he always sat in it. That made sense to me :)Unfortunately, the divorce hit me real bad and I was REALLY sick and everyone thought I will die asap. I was going to, actually, i didn't care if I lived or died. But then - summer came and I went to a Tracker class :) scout class. And the sheer joy of being alive and free made me decide to live. That's a turning point in my life - trucking into camp, on top of all gear, at night, late, in full rain, without dinner. EXCITING! That was worth living for!!!! I definitely was going to live for that.Later that winter I took Phil classes in a row and for some unbeknowst reason to me kept on saying around the fire as to why I was there: "because I wish to live from an open heart." Honestly, I had no clue what I was saying, and I knew it. I was amazed to the words coming out of my mouth. Anyways, I was very sick because of mold in my house, and that winter, it got me and I almost died, for real. I finally discovered what it was (Art of Mentoring helped) and moved out and finally started getting better. Well - depends how you look at it :) I had a major accident and was forced into action. For 7 years by then I knew I should move to South West but I was hanging around the Pines taking classes. After this accident, I HAD TO move. After a VQ and Protector class, I took off, sold my house and moved to Hawaii. Cold. At the end of Protector class was the first time ever that I realized that there was no Tom nor Malcolm to protect me and the camp and make magic foofoo dust, I was an adult and I was supposed to take care of myself and also protect others and the camp. It was scary and I felt very inadequate. :)I was crying as I was driving out of the Pines, knowing I won't come back. I had no idea where I was going. I wandered for 3months before I found Hawaii. Grandfather led my every step. I was alone in the desert, etc etc and I was always safe and taken care of.Since then, I have come to just a few Tracker classes and 100 person VQ, Hawaii is very expensive, I had no connections, and it was difficult. Again, taking classes changed my life. Scout classes again :) I have never had so much fun in my life. The last scout classes also convinced me that I was super sensitive and living in another world. I am different, period. My friend says I am wired as a healer, which makes me different, but should not make me separate. Sometimes it is difficult not to be separate, most humanity is quite cruel. During the second-to-last 100 person VQ in the Pines (2005?), I had to ( I was forced big time!) to promise to God to try to settle and get married. Grandfather tortured me quite a lot about that and it is rather comical, actually, a major hilarious black comedy. I failed miserably :) :) :) What he concocted is so wicked and a lot worse than any movie or story. Not quite like how he made Tom Brown pull skunk's tail, but similar :) That led to dating another tracker student in 2006, which ended as a complete disaster. I am still recovering :( The same pattern - I got really sick and was sick entire last year. Not as bad as before though. That WAS THE ONLY negative change because of tracker classes :) Well, it was a positive change, actually, at least I went on a date. I clearly remember putting a dress and going to an evening show, and being completely amazed and speechless in surprise when the guy said I looked nice. He had to say it kinda quietly and into the wind sideways as if never said it :) because I was going to bite :) I didn't even talk to men for 6-7 years before that. And I started talking to this one not as a man but as a younger friend, only out of obligation to help a fellow tracker, because he was quite ill when we first met. I am still quite rough and bite, but perhaps one day someone will show up. Oh, I almost forgot. When I got divorced and was very sad I had nobody and prayed to God for a scout :) then I saw an image of a hunter in a big green cloak. About a month later, I SAW AN ALMOST IDENTICAL PERSON in a Phil class. The almost exact replica of my vision saw me across the big kitchen hall of the Scout camp and came over to greet me, saying: "I don't know where we met, but you look familiar?" WE HAVE NEVER EVER MET BEFORE. I looked him over and realized he looked similar to what I saw in the vision, but wasn't the guy. My guy had a different smile. So I told him that I was praying for a husband and saw someone who looked similar. He said: "weird way to look for a mate!" and I remember thinking: "???? there is another way?? this is the only way I know of that works." He thought for some time and said: "it is not me, I am married, but I feel there is someone for you." Well, that someone didn't show up yet. I wonder where he is. He is majorly late. I kept asking Grandfather and then got tired of asking. That's why I got ill - I got angry and stopped all communications. That always makes me miserable and ill. Sorry to say that, but it is true. Hm, there was another negative thing, and Nancy will vouch for it, she proclaimed me the works of devil and all that jazz and wanted to expel me from the school. At the time I was dieing from mold and didn't know what it was, i wrote too many messages to Phil 6 list and that bothered them. They never took the time to figure out something was wrong with me and to help me. I just received major scoldings and a label of being "bad". I guess Nancy's wish to never see me in the school again is coming true, as I really don't have the time to go to NJ anymore nor to post much. That's sad in some ways. In other ways, it's exciting, I am into "bigger and better things". My dream was a healing business via bodywork, and I do that now. That's one reason why it is difficult to travel.Also, I am dedicating more time to personal growth and inner development, attending a Gourdjieff group and spending more time with my guru Paramahansa Yogananda. The Tracker idea of "healing the world" and external awareness is obsolete to me now. I believe I heal the world by changing myself. So I work very intensely on increasing INNER awareness as well as outer. I remember long time ago how Grandfather and Yogananda argued if I should go to Tracker school that much, and Grandfather said it was ok. Yes, it was ok, back then. Now it is more Yogananda's stuff. I am kinda tasked to move my life beyond the wall of grief and live more in the spirit band me, to use Phil lingo.In terms of largest change, Tracker classes gradually made me very different. I practice my scout skills everywhere and anywhere, if I am putting laundry on the line, walking around, sneaking up on the cat, etc. Especially when I do bodywork, tracking and awareness makes it very different and that's why I am so successful - I can repair people rather amazingly well. The way I live is very very different. I didn't realize it, it just snuck on me :) one day it became obvious that this question WHAT DIS MEAN was running my life. That I was running regularly to do Vision Quests, talking to trees, and doing all kinds of interesting things that "normal" people consider sci fi. One of my favorites is me and the cat talking to an owl and saving it. Sounds like living in Hogwarts to many people but that's how I live. So I don't talk about it :) I just fill zillions of online petitions for environmental causes, recycle, clean up, takecare, etc. I didn't make the last 100 person VQ in NJ, I quested locally with another Tracker student. It was AMAZING how we were kept safe, in spite of hurricane threat and heavy human traffic and even hunters walking up on our sites. I saw a person like 5 ft away. He turned around and left.There are many many more incidents. Too many to number. Am not sure that this is longer or shorter than what you asked for :) It is quite a story, when you look at it. It was one disaster after another, all because I never Listened. I was a complacent coward and very insecure. Grandfather helped me deal with that. So thank you for changing our lives and helping the Planet be better and healthier. Happy Birthday!Love,one of your students.

2nd full moon

noreply@blogger.com (HumanRemodeling) — Thu, 31 Dec 2009 07:11:00 +0000

Is tomorrow! Very rare occassion.

I am completing a 5-day cleanse by Young Living. Amazing stuff. I used some "powder food" they sell called Balance Complete. It replaces meals. You just dissolve 2 scoops in water. Also, you take wolfberry juice, and a lot of it. And, you take a pill with pepermint essential oil and a few other digestive/cleanse oils. And that's all you eat, three times a day, plus some tiny snakcs, like: 1/2 cup of blueberries, 2 tbsp of sunflower seeds, 1plum for the whole day. And, lots of water to flush it all out.

First, I was hungry the first day, and headachey and weak, somewhat feverish. I was doing computer work and that didn't help, probably, my eyes and my brain were exausted. Then I did a healing treatment, and that made me feel better.
So in the evening it became better and I danced around the room.
I woke up the next morning feeling like OOOOhhhhhh, what a relief ... it felt good in my body.

The second day was rough - I woke up ok but went back to sleep, and then had dark red puffy under my eyes, I felt weak and hungry. I felt feverish sometimes. My kidney was complaining a little sometimes. I was headachy and tired and weak and really off for most of the day. Detox symptoms... I was doing computer work again.
I did some healings and it changed everything, I felt better. By the evening, I was tired but feeling a lot better.

This morning, I woke up just fine, and was very fine, very energetic and clear all day long, and I did many healing treatments, outcalls, I was working all day long and on very difficult cases, lugging my table around, driving, ... I worked in some very fancy beach homes, very clean and orderly and just beautiful. The last treatment was at my house and it was powerful spiritual lesson in Love and Oneness and my home feels somehow refreshed.

***** Well, isn't that a pattern - I do healing treatments and that makes me feel good. I do computer work and it makes me feel lousy. IT IS TIME I SEE THAT FOR WHAT IT IS. Although I kinda liked what I was studying on the computer, still.

Also, because I was so busy and people were coming in and I didn't really eat on time. I would get up at 9, then eat breakfast at 10, then lunch would be at 2.... sometimes at 4pm... Today I ate dinner at 8:30pm... Today I felt tired because I did an outcall which was a little bit over the edge. I really should have not done it.

Also, I don't miss food.... Shopping, cooking, cleaning, eating -it all takes so much time. On the other hand, I look at that powder I am taking and I think how artificial it is and how removed I am from the land eating something like that. I need to be in touch with the bounty of the Earth.

I do get hungry now and I look at some stuff on my fridge and I am tempted a little, but then - not really. I notice I am tempted more with the carob coated raisins and not with pumkin and sunflower seeds. Hm - cravings, what in me wants to eat those. Candida, parasites, ...

Today I lay down with Yogananda's "sing thy name" CD with monks and 2000 devotees singing, and that was powerful. I just lost consciousness and woke up 30 mins later, totally refreshed.

?

noreply@blogger.com (HumanRemodeling) — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 05:57:00 +0000

In my email inbox, there is a message from me, replying to some Russian dating service saying that my spam filter doesn't accept connections. But that spam filter message should have been sent to whoever tried to contact me. The spam message looks like I am the emailing myself and the spam filter complains. ??? As if someone is using my email without me knowing it.

conectedness

noreply@blogger.com (HumanRemodeling) — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 05:19:00 +0000

It never ceases to amaze how connected our bodies are. For example, a problem in the shoulder can be fixed by working on the hips. A problem in the knee can be helped by fixing the shoulder or the hips.

Yes!

for women leaders

noreply@blogger.com (HumanRemodeling) — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 06:21:00 +0000

Read Fierce Conversations and
Fierce Leadership. Both are excellent. They are also not for everyone; not
everyone can pull off some of the things she recommends. But I still
encourage everyone to read them.
I have been in your situation, more than once. I've both succeeded and
failed at it. The first thing I recommend is DON'T think you can gain their
trust when you walk in the door. It's impossible. Trust needs to be earned.
It's actually something that I talk about when taking on a new team - that
we're new to each other and we're going to have to get to know each other
and that I want to earn their trust. I talk about the things I expect from
them. I ask what they expect from me. I set up individual and team meetings.
I take people to lunch. I try really, really hard not to jump to conclusions
and take some time to hear from everyone. And I try not to let what has
happened previously affect me. Everyone has a clean slate (tell them that)
it's good and it's also bad, because I don't know how well they were
performing previously and we'll need to demonstrate to each other what we're
good at. Always back them up in public, even if they're wrong, so they know
you've got their backs (talk to them about the issue in private and see if
you can help the person fix it himself quietly).
Good luck with the new job! I'm sure you're going to be great.

West African dance

noreply@blogger.com (HumanRemodeling) — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 09:47:00 +0000

Moustapha Bangoura, whom I consider #2 best male dancer in the world as far as West African goes (I consider Yousouff Koumbassa #1) is here in Honolulu. YEEHA! He is an amazing dancer and teacher.

And he is 56. Which made me think - who is carrying on this knowledge??? It made me really really ponder - am I learning it as much as I can, so that it can live.

There is another thing that I noticed, and that is that not all of our African dancers and drummers attended. That is really strange.

This is a chance to work with a magnificant artist and teacher. I am grabbing it.

Som

noreply@blogger.com (HumanRemodeling) — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 09:02:00 +0000

Do not waste your life or your life's path.
Be aware that every single event in your life was needed.
All these events were necessary to be experienced.
You would disgrace the true meaning of your life
if you still regret or hate any of the mistakes or faults on your path.

Gayuna Sundima

I talked to one of Paramahansa Yogananda's nuns. The fact they called me to set an appointment and assigned me a specific nun to talk with me means that my case was serious :) Usually I just get to speak with the on the phone right away and it is very short.

Anyways, we spoke about many things. One thing became very obvious: that even pondering stupidities of other people is a complete and total waste of time, and my life too. It just isn't worth it.

So, yes, I can be in total amazement that Born Again 'christian' can be so stupid, but the fact is - he *is* stupid, and so be it. There is no way it is changing, and there is no point in trying to comprehend anything of his doing. It is just insane and should be left alone. I have better things to do with my life.

So, I realized that I should have not analyzed anything, and definitely should have not taken anything personally nor gotten upset about anything. He lied to me, he bailed, he was selfish, he was impotent, he was rude, he was brainwashed, he was scared. Yes. So??
Even thinking about any of that even right now, as I write, makes me feel upset and hurt. It is a complete waste of my life.

So I realized I should have prayed for his well being and let everything go, as you let go misdoings of very small children. They don't know any better.

I haven't done it before for several reasons, one because there is always a danger that he smells that the air is clear and comes back when I am all happy and willing and able to be forgiving. He did that once already. The first time he bailed for good, as soon as I was fine, he showed up unannounced and bombed into my life without a single appology, and I was stupid enough to let him back in, and completely ruin my life. I think that he won't show up anymore, because the requirement on my side is very clear this time - EITHER that born again stuff OR me.

What really got me down is chastizing myself for making that mistake and accepting to go out with someone who was clearly disrespectful and selfish. I even considered marrying him. Also, I tried sleeping with him, which in my world view is a big thing, it made us "married" in some way. How could I fall pray to a con artist? How could I have been so stupid to try to come so close to a monster? That really bothered me. Something must be wrong with me. I was very upset with myself.

Now, in retrospect - what happened, happened. It is good to see where I made mistakes and what made me go astray. And, it is very good that he bailed before any deeper committment.

Interestingly, Cealo had the same message:

Do not waste your life or your life's path.
Be aware that every single event in
your life was needed. All these events
were necessary to be experienced.
You would disgrace the true meaning of
your life if you still regret or hate
any of the mistakes or faults on your path.

Gayuna Sundima

some strategies for selecting a boyfriend

noreply@blogger.com (HumanRemodeling) — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 06:39:00 +0000

I have two single lady neighbors. One is rather young (maybe in her late 20s, early 30s), and the other one is late 40s. The young one is what you would call "a hot chick", completely decked out with makeup and super tight clothes at all times. The older one is a surfer, sporty type.

I witnessed their boyfriend procedure in action through several cycles, with initial failures and eventual success, so now I can present you with a true-and-tested procedure that WORKS.

This is how they handle the men issue:

when they are without a boyfriend, they start having parties at their home.

This is the protocol:
Have a party and invite people over. The young one is a good cook so she invites everyone for a dinner. The older one invites them to watch TV and drink beer.

Invite many guys, and MAYBE one another lady. The host lady makes sure he invites at most one lady who is a true and tested ally, and the guys have to compete.
If there is another lady, it is a good friend of the host lady, and the two of them have a plan - the visiting lady is after a guy whom the host lady is not after. In other words, ladies never compete.
While the hunt is at the "party" stage, there is a lot of traffic around the host lady home - guys stop by, the other ally lady stops by, there are frequent parties, everyone stays late and talks about piquant topics.
There is loud music, food, lots of talking.
The guests always arrive at night and stay quite late.

Well, at first everyone leaves all toghether. After a few parties, one guy will stay after everyone else leaves. That's the one the lady keeps.

And then - there is no more parties, no more stopping by, the ally lady doesn't stop by. The host lady disappears with her catch. Everything goes quiet.

The next time there is a party, it is because the guy is gone and the boyfriend slot is open.

=======
I saw this algorithm in action many times.

The " beer and TV party" lady first got a beer and TV guy, who just sat there watching TV by himself. He was unsuitable because the lady is NOT into beer and TV. When she is alone, she never watches tv. She just uses TV as an excuse to invite them over. She likes to talk.
After I explained to her that she needs to tone down the TV part in order to get a better catch, and she did, she found someone exactly like her - someone with a very loud voice who loves to talk - and I haven't heard from them in many months now. They are living happily ever after.

The young one first attracted some pot smoking blonde surf dudes. They are good looking and awful. At least they were quiter than her last boyfriend, who was intelligent, "cute" and completely selfish, rude and wicked pot head. She smoked too. I had to yell at them to stop. I hate that smell. There is something so evil in it, something that just puts you to sleep and sucks your soul out.
Finally, after many repetitions of the above algorithm, there is someone who is quiet, nice, and treats her well, I just saw them walk out together, and there is no pot smell. The guy said hi to me and he seems nice and quietly happy. She is all happy too. I heard them eat dinner together, and it sounds like they are happy together. This lady is actually a good householder and needs a stable, solid guy. Maybe she found him! The happy end, hopefully.

==========
Meanwhile, I am thinking: who wants me. Most males want some demour, easy-to-catch, nice and pleasing female. On the contrary, I am like a wild pony, strong and ... hm.. wild! Only a very strong guy will be able to appreciate a tiger like that. Who is that guy?

On the other hand: my sporty neighbor is not demour, and she found some guy who is exactly like her. And sometimes I hear her ribbing him :) Deserved or not, I cannot tell :)

On another hand, I am a lot more gentle than most. I have taught my demour girly girl neighbor to affectionately talk to her pet. My flowers and my pet are totally pampered and gloriously beautiful. Unfortunately, I am just too giving and if the recipient is someone who is immature, they take it for granted and try to abuse it. So that's why I don't hang out with the crowd - most are too cruel.

For most, that's the hard part to comprehend, that something can be so super gentle and so super strong, like silk. It really is like a tiger - it cann shred you to pieces, and it can purr and cuddle. Who can handle that kind of responsibility? - maybe only another tiger... ? Only someone really mature, someone truly male, who can appreciate being pampered and step up to the responsibility of deserving the pampering. That would be a real man. Where is that real man?

smart is beautiful

noreply@blogger.com (HumanRemodeling) — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 01:37:00 +0000

So, I invented "smart is beautiful" slogan for attracting women to computer science.
Wow. Some people loved it, and some just hated it.

Here is a conversation with someone smart from MIT who hates "beautiful" and thinks that "smart is superb" is a good slogan. I dislike "smart is superb".

>>>> >>>>> To effectively attract women to CS, a good place to start is to look at reasons why women choose to depart from the technical fields.

Milica: Seems like we all agree - either it's not what we like to do, or it is just too much trouble - unsupportive environment and a job that is meaningless.The second case seems prevalent.

>>>>>>>>> One factor that can be important to choosing a field, is the sort of community one will join, and to that end it is helpful to show very clearly that there is a supportive environment to be found. Additionally, many are motivated in choice of interest by the opportunity to do something quite useful in the world, and I am not sure that a good job is done at the highschool or pre-highschool levels, of conveying that CS is meaningful and rewarding work in that regard.

Milica: **** THIS IS A HUGE THING. **** I TOTALLY AGREE.

>>>>>>>>>>>>> So, from that perspective, I would suggest phrases like "Smart is Superb: you are not alone. Join the smartest women on earth at changing the world. Computer Science."

Milica: Hm, now you are repulsing me :) This sounds like "uncle sam wants you" :)
"Smart is superb" sounds very nazi to me :) the supremacy theory.

>>>>>>> Well, to be sure -- that was also a highly effective slogan. Why do you find it repulsive? I find that slogan repulsive because it was a call to war, which is not the same as a call to computer science.
from Merriam Webster, "superb": "marked to the highest degree by grandeur, excellence,brilliance, or competence" Which I think is fairly spot-on for meaning and connotation.(I don't see any elitism --or nazism-- here; superb is all-welcoming) Feel free to suggest an alternative word you feel more comfortable with

Milica: "Join the smartest women on earth" also sounds very arrogant. As if artists,accountants, house wives and all other women on earth are not one of the smartest. They are. We all are.

>>>>>> Yeah, I spent less time thinking about this part. Let's say it's optional, and I'd welcome your re-write

Milica: Seems like it is back to the drawing board for more slogans :) Thanks for the feedback, M.

=========ROUND 2 ==========

Milica:
from Merriam Webster, "superb": "marked to the highest degree by grandeur, excellence,>>> brilliance, or competence"
** Hm, I disagree. It is saying that everyone who is NOT smart is no good. It is spot-on arrogant.

>>>>>>Wait, not at all -- for example, is saying "Smart is beautiful" the same as saying that "everyone who is NOT beautiful is no good?" It's not even contained in the phrase.

Milica: People are smart in many different ways. What is "smart"? We think it is high IQ. But someone with high IQ can be quite stupid :)

>>>>>>Yep, this is all true! How do you intend to apply these thoughts to the recruitment effort?

Milica: It has to be a word that includes everyone and doesn't make anyone better than others. Also, it should compliment and make people feel good about themselves. It should be a word that includes the heart and the spirit.

>>>>Yeah!

Milica: Smart is something to be proud of? cheesy
Smart is good for you :)
Smart is employable - now that is spot on :)

>>>>>>hmm, also reprehensible. Dreaming only to be one day employed denies the myriad of possibilities of what can do in life -- founding startups, or NGOs and non-profits for example. Additionally, I wouldn't recommend leading one's life with the goal of becoming useful to someone else (e.g. employable).

The idea is to inspire love for computer science, right?

=========ROUND 3===========

Milica:
No, "smart is beautiful" is saying that smart is beautiful, and the word "beautiful" has many shades of meaning.

I walk in beauty
beauty is before me
beauty is behind me
above and below.

We refer to people as "beautiful" when they do good deeds, etc.
Also when they are pretty, when they are graceful, etc.
When a product is elegant, like a nice proof, solution, etc.
"beautiful" is a word that is used for awe, being affectionate, etc. so it has a certain something about it.

There is also "beauty is not skin deep" and so the word "beauty" has a certain depth to it. It is a deep concept, beauty. Beauty of God, beauty of Creation, beauty of human spirit, beauty of our feelings, as well as physical beauty of surroundings, beautiful face, beautiful clothes, beautiful dinner, etc. Beauty has many descriptions. It has a certain Higher quality to it.

If I had used the word "pretty" then it would be dumb and exclusive because it is strictly personal, physical and subjective and makes so many people feel miserable about themselves.

"Superb" is like that when applied to people - arrogant. If you applied to a product/machine/ etc then it would be ok - smart engineering is superb to bad engineering. But this person is superb to that person - is arrogant. It's not possible to judge people like that, unless you are God.

==========
"Employable" is not a good word, I didn't look too far. I did have in mind self employment etc. And I am a big advocate for self employment. The scary part is these corporations employing and deploying people at whim.

So maybe:
smart succeeds - this one sounds very good, actually. It could work for anything.
smart is successful
smart without limits - better to put it into positive
smart is creative
smart is making smart choices - this one sounds good too; for someone it will be working for 200K for some nasty corp monster, and for some it will be staying home with kids or having their own company
==========
Love for comp sci. Hm. The main idea was to make people feel neutral and good about comp sci, to consider is just like everything else - no better and no worse. One more choice to consider.
It's like - hey, you didn't see this choice before, but it is a good and valid choice, check it out.

"Love" for it is a lot bigger goal :)

The first step is not to repulse people who have bad stereotypes in their head.

So, the goal is to break the stereotypes and to project a different stereotype. Sorry, but that's what it all about :) Too many people are rather stupid and WILL WORK ONLY ON STEREOTYPES :) So we have to give them a more palatable stereotype :) :) :)

My 2 cents worth

============ROUND 4 ==========
Milica:
hey, after reviewing what we discussed, things are becoming clearer to me, thanks to your questions.

First, my intent is to just peak their interest. To "open the door" and present Comp Sci as a valid, valuable choice. Then, they are welcome to walk in and explore.

First we need to attract them, saying: hey, we are not monsters in here, this stuff is good, you can join in!
Because, that's what they are thinking when they become a psychologist or nurse or whatever. They can see themselves in that role. But comp sci - first of all, what does it look like???? Is it some nerds in white coats eating pizza over computer keyboards at 2am??? What is it actually, that comp sci thing???

But they won't even ask that question, because their mind already wrote it off, because they have a vague idea it IS some (male) nerds over keyboards at 2am who never used deodorant and should not be seen eating in public and will go on a date with a robot. Something like that. The image is fuzzy in their heads but this is the feel of it.

So, our message is:

It is a good fun group to work with
It has a lot of potential and high rewards
You _can join the group
Overall, it is a good choice.
So - come in and check us out.

So, maybe the slogan is:

smart career choice: computer science

Join many smart women in changing the world through technology

So - that leaves smart women in other fields respected, and says what we do, etc.

----
Then, phase 2: once they are kinda intrigued, then we catch them with "interesting stuff" so that they actually begin to like this kind of stuff and eventually love it.

what we talked about in the healing school

noreply@blogger.com (HumanRemodeling) — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 09:12:00 +0000

Corinne would be proud of me.

Long time ago, in the IM School of Healing Arts, we talked a lot about how we make a decision to be ... hm, how to say it properly... proactive, alive, present in our lives.

Finally I got it. It really is like that - making a decision.

Something happened to me and I was feeling very low. My healing mentor Harry told me I was low on a certain nutrient and I had to go get it asap, take it as a pill. Well, my body should be producing that nutrient.

I asked Harry: what is causing the deficiency? How can it be prevented? And he didn't know.

So, I thought to myself: when was the last time I felt like this? When I had the same symptoms? What was going on in my life?

Then I remembered Gurdjieff work: how G talks about how human organism is like a fine machine, very intricate mechanism, and how it produces energy on which we live and also extra energy from which we grow finer bodies. ANd how negative emotions are like setting explosions in that fine factory, and destroying entire supplies of energy, leaving us tired and depleted and exausted.

It made me think... connecting the dots... I prayed. Very intensely. Something was listening.
I realized that my problems were because I haven't prayed in a long time. I didn't want to. God messed up, I messed up, and it seemed pointless to pray and meditate. God set me up with all kinds of stupid people and the whole situation is pretty bleak. I felt alone amongst insane. And God made it so. I didnt wanna talk to God and I "stayed in my room" sulking. But lack of contact with God was killing me.
So I realized that and realized I need that spiritual vibe asap, I need it to live.

Then I went home and googled Dala Lama, and luckily found him on youtube. I listened to Dalai Lama speeches and I got the answer to my question, what kind of negative emotion was destroying my supplies of energy and what was necessary to heal that.

The problem was because I was getting very angry with cruelty and stupidities that people do. Like the association not fixing my apartment, like tenants not paying rent, destroying my unit and even harassing me on the street, like Born Again hiding his religious beliefs from me, etc. I cannot comprehend why someone would be so creepy to cheat like that. It just is incomprehensible. It made me very angry. The Auyrvedic doctor told me that a while ago, I didn't really understand it, now I do; he was correct. I could not comprehend why people can be so cruel and stupid, and not understanding that, I was getting very angry. Not having some sane influence around me, I felt really isolated and alone, which made me even angrier and more desolate. I felt alone in hell called life on Earth.
I was often told I am "wired differently" "as a healer." Apparently, being sane and normal and totally abnormal on this planet.... where most people are not really human. They are something else, something stupid and cruel and unaware.

I don't know why and how I am different, but I am different. Listening to Dalai Lama made me feel so comforted. FINALLY THERE WAS ONE SANE PERSON TO TALK WITH. Dalai Lama was like a breath of fresh air. What he said made sense. FINALLY SOMEONE SANE. I was not alone in this hell called life on Earth. I was relieved.

So I just switched the switch, internally. Yes, you just ask for it, and it happens. I realized I was making exactly the mistake that Dalai Lama mentioned - anger, and I decided I wanted to go the route that Dalai Lama was recommending -opening the heart in compassion, because it is the only right way. So -

I fell asleep while listening to Dalai Lama speaking, and I woke up completely different. Like a totally different person. Totally refreshed.

========
Now I was grading and getting angry again - how can students be so careless - but again - not everyone is intelligent. And most youngsters these days don't know how to study. So - threading lightly and compassionately - and persistently.

Like Thich Nat Han: combination of slow like a snail and lethal like heavy machinery.
Like tai chi masters: like an iron chain - flexible and heavy.

Dalai Lama is healing

noreply@blogger.com (HumanRemodeling) — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 18:50:00 +0000

http://fora.tv/2008/07/26/His_Holiness_the_Dalai_Lama_at_The_Aspen_Institute

I came from work feeling very bad, all upset and torn, and then I watched Dalai Lama video. Again, I fell asleep, and woke up completely "erased" as if I was never upset. I could not even remember what to be upset about. I was feeling peaceful and confident.

There are several things: first, what Dalai Lama was talking about made sense. First he spoke about children, and I personally say and believe exactly what he says. So it was comforting to see someone else who has the same world view. Dalai Lama was an example of sanity and good human values.

It was already past midnight and I was tired, so, not surprisingly, I fell asleep towards the end of his talk.

I watched many other shorter videos of him on you tube. It was actually interesting, to see a different "side" of him - from very animated, almost irritated, to being very nice in a company of a very nice female reporter, to sarcastically poking and teasing some "Chinese professors" in the audience, to glowing with happiness when McCain was reading hus statement of support of Tibet. In short, Dalai Lama is quite human.

But his eyes are something else, they are like little fires. There is something in them. Also, when he talks about some Buddhist teachings, there is so much depth in the eyes. It is amazing. Many videos I watched, I just watched Dalai Lama's eyes. Incredible.

Is healing others possible?

noreply@blogger.com (HumanRemodeling) — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 07:08:00 +0000

Today I had two experiences. I spoke with Alice McDowell, a spiritual guide who works in Ithaca Light on the Hill retreat center. She didn't have any solutions for my problem. She just listened and said a few things and offered a few ideas. Her mere presence was soothing and clarifying. She cares for me. That' s all that matters. Then I can calm down and the solutions come to me, naturally, from my own Source. So, talking with Alice was like a breath of fresh air. I was completely different. Just after 20 mins of interaction with her.

Then I had an encounter with a "shaman" kind of person who loves to "heal others". He offered himself and his buddies (whom he didn't even ask) to "do a healing on me" to help me with a certain issue. He diagnosed my problem as forcing my own will and offered help with that.

My response:

So I am wondering who is asking whom :) It is not possible to heal anyone, isn't that clear to you? The only person anyone can heal is only themselves. By offering to "heal" me, you are actually saying that I am "broken" and you are not, and thus you will perform this magic and fix me. It is a very very arrogant and very dangerous position to be oh-so-good and running around fixing others who are broken.

You are playing hookey and avoiding your own Work.

So, instead of "doing something to others to fix them" you need to do some Inner Work on yourself.

You can always say a prayer for me. Seems like one of the things I need help with is breaking a certain "curse" that makes me always self sabotage. The bottom line of that, just like the bottom line for everyone, is to have my will be the will of God. Just like Jesus prayed - not mine, but Thy will be done.

That is the common thread between any human, and you oh so great healer, are not an exempt to that either. You also, just like me, just like anyone else, need to work on that "Thy will be done."

Don't you see, you cannot help me, nor anyone else, unless you help yourself first. That ain't a little Phil 8 workshop..... It's a lot more demanding. You can say a prayer for someone else, but 99.99% of your time should be in your own meditation and prayer.

Anyways, I think we talked it over and I am done on my side. You are in this "fix others" camp and I am done with that stage in life. I cannot fix others. I can only Work on myself. That helps others, indirectly.

Why don't you pray and meditate and surrender to Inner Vision yourself :)

I will know when you actually do it, because your mere presence will be healing. There will be a certain presence inside.

education

noreply@blogger.com (HumanRemodeling) — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 23:11:00 +0000

Judging by what is posted here
http://www.ed.gov/programs/racetothetop/index.html
American Federal Government efforts
toward "improving" education
have much more to do with
evaluation of students and teachers against
politically determined criteria
than with learning that will allow the student
to do something useful.
Nothing in the document that I can find
discusses curiosity or other motivation to succeed,
or taking initiative,
or evaluating multiple biased information sources,
or debate,
or dealing with moral ambiguity and incomplete information,
or originality,
or collaboration among students,
or the idea that one might want
a mixture of skills
that complement one another
on a professional team
instead of a bunch of identically trained people.
Students may be tested to the point of
passivity and disinterest.
Who would blame them for rebellion?
It is very easy to be critical.
It is not as easy to
suggest a better alternative.
So assuming for the sake of discussion
that the politics could be dealt with,
what might a better alternative look like?
Yes girls, yes math and science,
but more generally what education now
do we think would be better for the future?
Have countries other than America
come up with a better alternative
that could be used in America too?

indeed different

noreply@blogger.com (HumanRemodeling) — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 10:26:00 +0000

Long time ago, Old Rat Born Again Mario told me that I will surely notice that he is different than any other men. He meant "better".

I actually notice that he is different than any other men: he is the worst kind I have ever seen. Any contact with such shit is detrimental.